Stagette...

...so I never talked about the Stagette party I attended over the weekend. What a hoot that was! We left early in the am and made it to the city well before lunchtime. I ended up getting my coffee at Timmies...which turned out to be a real great idea as it was fresh and hit the spot. Some of the ladies went shopping at all the hot spots and my car didn't really want to do that much shopping so we just went to the smaller mall to grab a few necessities like a shirt for the evening and some special purchases from the NSLC. We grabbed lunch at the food court and I had a hard time deciding what to eat. I didn't want something too greasy, but did want something with substance. I decided to go with the pasta place so I went to the counter and noticed the worker on the phone. I waited a few minutes and when she came to greet me she had a mouth full of food and while asking me what I wanted she proceeded to shove the rest of the garlic bread that was half out of her mouth back in with the push of her pointer finger. Well...this grossed me out. She was just chewing away and had no gloves on and had just shoved some bread in her mouth...now she wanted to touch my food...nuh uh! I walked away and got a wrap next door instead. I mean, how rude and gross is that? It's lunchtime...I get it...she needs to eat...but you serve lunch so work it out.

Anyways, my wrap was great and we left there to go to the hotel. We relaxed in the room and prepared for the festivities. The first activity was pole dancing. What a hoot that was! Picture 18 ladies trying to fling themselves gracefully around a pole. I've never felt so un-sexy in my life. I was trying to exude hotness, but don't think I succeeded. I managed to leave there with bruises all over the place from dropping to the ground like a sack of potatoes a few times and ramming my ankle on the bottom of the pole. I really have a new found respect for the ladies that do this for a living...it's hard work...hard to do the maneuvers and hard to stay sexy during the whole thing...kudos ladies!

We left there, grabbed a bite and made our way back to the hotel to get prettied up. Once we were ready the games began! One of the games was "Hit the mint across the room". We had a bottle in the leg of a pair of pantyhose wrapped around our waist so that the bottle dangled between our legs....get it?....ok now that you have the visual, we then had to make the bottle swing to hit the mint that was on the floor and make it roll across the room. Boy, I'm pretty good that game! My hips were a major assets this time cause I could shake them to knock over my opponents and then swing my "bottle" to win the game...I knew they'd come in handy at some point. After that we had some drinks and made our way to dance club numero uno. We worked our magic on the bouncer and got in for free and made our way to the dance floor. We dominated the dance floor...and the speakers....hard to believe that 25 small town ladies could bust up a place like we did that night. The bar was packed and there were even other stagettes and still we took over the place. I enjoyed my spot on the speaker and even had a dance partner for some of it. Before you start wondering who it was...just remember we were on a stagette party and what stagette party wouldn't be complete without a blow up man! Yes people, me and "Joe Blow" aka "Willy Wonker" aka "ugly blow up man" were just tearing it up on that speaker. I think he enjoyed himself too cause after that he went crowd surfing....seemed like he had a good time too.

After that we went to another bar and it was rumored that the rapper Nelly was in the club. Well I just about lost it when I heard that cause after all, why on earth would he choose to hang on out Hdot when he can go anywhere else in the world! Let's see how that conversation went..."well boys, let's go out tonight...let's go to Hdot, NS...I hear that's a cool place...fire up the jet." I laughed about that all night long and made fun of anyone who mentioned wanting to see him...I mean, how absurd? Really?! Once we got back to the hotel my Farty Cousin said she saw Jesse McCartney, a singer with a hit song on the radio right now. I laughed even more because this was just getting better....first Nelly was in town and now Jesse McCartney...what next? We laughed and I continued with..."oh look, Elvis in the Bathroom... oh and did you see Will Ferrel on the way home... look who's at the door, it's P Diddy!"....and on and on....to the point where we were laughing hysterically at my Farty Cousin. Come to find out, they did see Jesse McCartney and have a pic to prove it and Nelly was on the rooftop of the bar we were at - just didn't see him. I guess I was proven wrong...but boy it was funny!

The next morning a few of the ladies weren't feeling peachy keen...but managed to make it home safely and without bathroom stops so all in all it was a great success! We lost "Joe Blow" aka "Willy Wonkers" aka "ugly blow up man" somewhere at the second bar...it's very sad. He was deteriorating through the night as he had a balloon animal made "mid section" that busted at the first bar and after my stint with him he was deflating...he was probably in the worst shape of all of us so it's best he stayed out all night. I hope he's happy in whatever garbage bin he managed to sleep in!

"When I grow up...I wanna be famous..." - Pussycat Dolls